I only saw you a few hours ago, we are each others daily familiars, we are more than aware of each others life patterns, I know what makes you happy and equally what makes you tick. Sometimes I watch you while you read, I see your eyes move from left to right, wondering what impact that text has on you, thus wondering what impact this text may have on you and then I know;
My love for travel, for the outdoors, my creativity and passions is something you aren’t fully aware of, you think my daydreams are just that, dreams. You have no idea how deep my passions run, how much torture I endure every day when I live the life so far from where I want to be. I have spent so many years travelling on my own, packing my bags when I wanted and leaving a place when I chose to. I still don’t know why I chose to stop all of that, to end what I loved doing, just for you.
Of course love is the reason behind many things, we have shared such beautiful moments together and for that I am thankful but it was then that I wish we had stopped this. I wish that we had ended our time together with goodness, before anger and resentment started settling in. I am now writing this wishing that I didn’t have to hurt you, that I didn’t have to tell you how much I hurt, because I know that my pain and unhappiness will cut deep in you.
Yet my life is meant to be wild, to be free and unknown. I want to wake with the sunrise and fall asleep to the stars. I dream of wandering remote paths, paths that are yet to be carved by human feet, getting myself tangled in natures arms, running wildly through fields of flowers and swimming bravely in oceans deep and blue. I wish to meet people who aren’t engrossed by money and technology, people who dream similar to me, who have stories I can learn from, faces that exhume kindness and wonder rather than the pained and tired faces I walk past every day. I wish to be poor in many ways but rich in the things that matter.
Your ideal world is yours, you must cherish it and never let anybody tamper with it, not even me. I cannot expect you to follow me if the path I am wandering down is not the path for you. Your way of life is more structured, you enjoy a different rhythm to me and that’s OK. We are not meant to compare our passions nor are we meant to begin hating each other for not slotting in to each others dreams but at this very point in life, where our familiar path has come to a fork, it’s time to turn our separate ways.
I hope maybe one day our paths run parallel to each other, that I can wave at you, smile and see that you are happy and sure of yourself but until then,
Goodbye, good luck and thank you.